Sympathy for the Devil?

Having performed extensive personal research on psychopathy (sociopathy, anti-social disorder), I am convinced that there is at least some genetic predilection to psychopathy.  While no one knows for certain, it is probable that psychopathy is multifactorial.  Studies have demonstrated that approximately 20% of a psychopath's first-degree relatives are also anti-social.  There is also a high association with alcoholism in families of psychopaths.  Because the home life of families with anti-social parents is often dysfunctional, it is difficult to separate out the influence of inherited predisposition from the influence of a dysfunctional home.  There is a clear demonstrable tendency to alcoholism and/or illicit drug use in sociopathy.  As many as 75% of sociopaths have early and persistent dependency on alcohol, and up to 50% demonstrate abuse of other substances.  "This exacerbates other symptoms associated with ASP (anti-social personality disorder), often bringing out the worst in an individual's behavior" (Please read Bad Boys, Bad Men: Confronting Antisocial Personality Disorder. Donald W. Black, M.D., C. Lindon Larson. New York, Oxford University Press, 1999 for more information).

Understanding that, should I feel sympathy/ empathy for those afflicted by psychopathy?  After all, I am certainly able to feel sympathy for those suffering from inherited disorders such as cystic fibrosis and Lou Gehrig’s disease.  These individuals did not ask for, nor do they deserve to lead lives of pain and disability.  However, the important difference is that those people suffering from genetic disorders such as cystic fibrosis do not consciously and willfully set out to hurt and destroy those who love them.  The psychopath is unable to do anything but.  The psychopath views those who care for him not as people to treat with love and respect, but only as a means to an end.  He will put on a convincing act around his alleged friends and loved ones, pretending to care, but when the usefulness of the relationship has waned (from his point of view) will seek new relationships that meet whatever needs he believes are currently being unmet.  But the psychopath will not terminate the current relationship without leaving a scar upon those he has left behind.  Their victims are left emotionally, and often physically and financially devastated in the wake of the psychopath.

In the aftermath of “Psychopath Adrian”, I am disinclined to feel any sympathy for these particular devils.  These individuals are in aggregate a pervasive societal problem, causing destruction to nearly all whom they encounter.  I do not have a solution.  Personally, I would like to see the psychopaths all sequestered together, much like lepers were housed together in leper colonies.  Then, the only people in their sick and manipulative paths would be other sociopaths.  Certainly there is some precedent, as people with other mental disorders who have proven themselves to be dangerous to themselves or society in general are institutionalized for the greater good of society.  I realize, however, this creates a slippery slope.  Who decides criteria for inclusion into the sociopath colony?  What is the margin of error, and what would happen if a non-sociopath was erroneously sequestered, an innocent person thrown in a pit of tigers?  I know that my view is extreme, but I believe other victims will at least understand, if not agree.    Perhaps public education will be enough.  Perhaps the more the general population knows about sociopathy, the better they will be able to avoid being targeted.  Sandra Brown's Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Donna Andersen's Love Fraud are great resources, but because psychopathy is so prevalent, more people need to be involved.  Forewarned is forearmed.

Plundered my Soul

I'm finally able to sleep under the covers. For the longest time after my marriage fell apart,  I couldn't. I huddled on top of my comforter, with a throw blanket on top to keep me warm. When I would try to fall asleep between the sheets, I would inevitably have flashbacks of my encounters with the psychopath, and would lie awake re-living my nightmare. If I did finally fall asleep under the covers, I did not sleep well, but instead would have a restless night peppered with nightmares.So I learned not to pull back the covers.On the plus side,it saved time making my bed in the morning.

The psychopath is a consummate thief. Having no soul of his own, he does his utmost to rob others of theirs. But unlike the obvious pillaging of say, a pirate or the Huns, the psychopath uses subtlety, stealth and subterfuge. My own personal psychopath was smooth and insidious. He took little pieces of me without me really realizing that they were missing at first.

And when his mask finally came off, he stole my confidence and part of my sense of self. I feared for my career, my safety, and my sanity. But it turned out he only briefly borrowed those parts of me. Similar to Lord Voldemort feasting on the blood of unicorns as a desperate effort to sustain himself, the psychopath's theft is only a short-term fix. And unless he is stopped, he will continue to suck others dry in his quest for unattainable fulfillment.

Victim or Survivor?

Am I a victim, or a survivor?  A life coach that I consulted briefly during my attempts at recovery from my encounter with a psychopath tried to convince me that there are no victims.  "Even the person killed in a random drive-by shooting? How about all those killed by the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center?" 
"They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time" she replied.
This seemed to be an argument based on semantics.  Victim versus wrong place, wrong time; the end result is that a person is wronged, treated unfairly, and undeservedly so. 
I believe the term used to refer to the victim of a psychopath ultimately hinges upon how that person views herself.  Immediately following my own personal encounter with the psychopath, I was a victim.  I was emotionally, physically and financially traumatized.  During the healing process, however,  I became stronger, stronger even than I was before I met "Adrian".  It is the act of reaching within oneself, the response to the devastation that ultimately determines who you become.  I no longer possess the guileless trust of Pollyanna.  My personal motto is now "Trust, yet verify".  I know I am so much more now than I was before I met the man who changed my life forever (and not in a good way).  Do I miss the trusting, innocent person that I was?  Oh, yes.  But given the fact that an estimated four percent of the population is a psychopath with no sense of right or wrong, chances are that I would have eventually run afoul of another man just as evil, because that is what evil does.  It seeks out that which it can initially control and manipulate, and ultimately destroy.

So, I am a survivor.  And I am his worst nightmare.  I am a survivor with intelligence and resources, and a mission:  to put him behind bars using whatever legal means are available to me, and to warn other women of the dangers of psychopathy before they themselves are chosen to be a victim by another as evil as the one who targeted and tried to destroy me.